Friday, May 25, 2018

The 3rd Greatest Commandment?

I am calling this post the 3rd greatest commandment, because JESUS already named the first 2:

1. Love GOD above everything.
2. Love your neighbor (any human being) as much as you love yourself.

CHRIST also gave Moses a handy list of 10 commandments that I consider "the 10 best ways to go to Hell." For example, although it appears in the Book of Mormon that certain people were forgiven for their murders, I am going to avoid being on the wrong side of that rule.

First, a list of what this commandment is not about: extra earrings, r-rated films, coffee, hair length, white shirts, tank tops, profanity, obedience to fallen men, pretentious use of middle initials, standing to honor another imperfect mortal, beer, or beards. All of those are either somewhat well-intentioned policies, good health advice, or flawed rules.

Now for my "great secret" that is not so secret.

(Joseph Smith's greatest sermon at King Follet's funeral includes a statement about "the great secret." He is referring to the idea that GODs have been human at some point in their existence. Then they advance to become Saviors of worlds. Ultimately they become perfected like our Heavenly Parents, the Elohim (plural, meaning 2 GODS, female and male). JESUS and his Spouse would also now be part of this group owing to the infinitely awesome work of the Atonement.)


1. I am a sinful man.
2. I am nothing like Joseph Smith, although I am probably a better person than Brigham Young. Unfortunately I would probably fall closer to Brigham than Joseph, and that is not a good thing. I need to repent, and then repent some more, followed by more repentance.
3. I have never seen JESUS or an angel. My telestial self would surely be incinerated if CHRIST appeared to me in HIS full glory.
4. The only smart thing I have ever done is convince my wife Kim to marry me, and 13 year later, she is still my wife. I have pulled off the greatest coup since the US bought Alaska from the Russians.

You hopefully get the idea that I am not taking the LORD's name in vain, because HE did NOT tell me to write this. I am fairly certain I was inspired to write this, but do not trust me, ask GOD.

Now for my gospel speculation on the 3rd greatest commandment.

You will be judged on how well you treat women.

Obviously this would be part of JESUS's second great commandment, because HE meant "everyone" when He said "neighbor." I just think this needed to be said. 

For men, this starts with their Mother, moves to their sister(s) if they have any, goes on to their Wife, and on to any daughters. It also includes any female they encounter until the day they are resurrected. Men who think they are more important than women are going to end up in a place run by a guy who thought he was more important than the Most High GOD, and got his ass kicked out of heaven.

For women it follows the same progression and includes avoiding "cattiness" when comparing themselves to other women. Any woman who gives birth to even one child (or adopts one) is automatically a million times more worthy of the celestial kingdom than I am.

I know men will be deservedly judged by a harsher standard than women by JESUS, because women have much harder lives than men. Men rule and reign on this Earth with the proverbial "blood and horror." This reign of terror includes verbal cruelty as well as sexual or physical abuse.

Men: If you want to assure yourselves of a lengthy stay in a literal Hell, feel free to mistreat women. 

If you are hoping to avoid Satan's realm, start treating all women like your eternal life depends on it...BECAUSE IT DOES!